changes

Just what I need - another blog. between Twitter, Livejournal, and the odd musing on Facebook, clearly what I need is another venue for expressing myself.

I think what brought me here today is the fact that it's Mothers' Day. And while this is the third one that I've experienced without my mother, it's the first one where I haven't been at work all day, and it comes at a time where I feel like a ridiculous amount of change has happened. It's only been a little over three years, but it's astounding how much has happened... the number of relationships, jobs, experiences... Even just the number of places I've lived.

Sometimes I think about the person I was when she died, and I wonder if she'd even recognize me. I occasionally work with an old friend of my mother's. I saw her yesterday, and she told me I look more beautiful every time she sees me. Maybe I'm happier... thinner, for sure. Beyond that... I like to think that she'd be pleased with what I've done with myself. Even though I'm not always 100% happy with how things turn out, for now things are good.

But there are a lot of things I'd really like to ask her. Y'know, that motherly advice stuff. It feels silly. I'm an adult, I should know these things by now. But life's a constant stream of things you didn't see coming. Like dating a guy with kids. Or how to figure out what I want to do with my career. I guess that feeling never goes away.